So here we are–perhaps a month into what is likely going to be a long haul.
Can’t say I’m loving it but, as humans are won’t to do, I am adjusting.
Yep. Perhaps it is the up-dose of Prozac, or at least in part. I also think I am simply acclimating to a non negotiable circumstance.
Interestingly, this particular situation has proved a trigger for earlier traumas. I am assured by a therapist friend that this is not unusual. Discomfiting, perhaps, but also instructional.
Clearly I have benefitted greatly from distraction. Now that it is me, myself and I–there is really nowhere to turn but inward. And it would seem I have some unfinished business.
In every crisis there is opportunity. I have some major detoxing to do, which is how I am choosing to look at this particular challenge.
Mental housecleaning, and with all this time on my hands, I am getting to those corners which have been easy to overlook. There is the potential for a squeaky clean start to whatever comes next.
The trick is believing. In the future itself as well as the strength to get there.
xo
life and breath: outliving lung cancer 
Believe!
Know that we are all with you. A silent force of strength I hope.
Linnea (NY)
I am 2 1/2 yr stage 4nsclc alk gene survivor- no progression (alectinib).
Am considering Lorlatinib after progression, of course will do gene testing.
I think my cancer is slow growing like yours. I live in Ohio and had Alice Shaw as 2nd opinion. You had mentioned “pulsing” And that in hindsight as being something you wished you had done. I have so many questions. Could we email. My daughter just moved to Boston – perfusionist at Boston Children’s.
Linnea, you are the strongest person I know and focusing on that hells me. What we’re collectively experiencing is unprecedented in my life but I know you fight everyday. That helps me too. 👈🏼✊🏼❤️
I think about you often… hoping and believing .. Reading your blogs… The feelings behind the words, the thoughts you share. A lot of strength, Sometimes laughter, sometimes tears. A lot of realism. I just want to say “thank you”.
Do you really want to do that?
It IS going to be a long haul. Your words and your willingness to show emotional vulnerability give me strength. Thank you.
I’m with you, the time in quiet solitude has lead me further within and I see those dusty dark corners that need a good cleaning. It is a tough time, but I also feel like there is an opportunity to do just the work you are talking about!