This is not a drill

So here we are–perhaps a month into what is likely going to be a long haul.

Can’t say I’m loving it but, as humans are won’t to do, I am adjusting.

Yep. Perhaps it is the up-dose of Prozac, or at least in part. I also think I am simply acclimating to a non negotiable circumstance.

Interestingly, this particular situation has proved a trigger for earlier traumas. I am assured by a therapist friend that this is not unusual. Discomfiting, perhaps, but also instructional.

Clearly I have benefitted greatly from distraction. Now that it is me, myself and I–there is really nowhere to turn but inward. And it would seem I have some unfinished business.

In every crisis there is opportunity. I have some major detoxing to do, which is how I am choosing to look at this particular challenge.

Mental housecleaning, and with all this time on my hands, I am getting to those corners which have been easy to overlook. There is the potential for a squeaky clean start to whatever comes next.

The trick is believing. In the future itself as well as the strength to get there.


8 responses to “This is not a drill

  1. Linnea Ericson Schordine

    Know that we are all with you. A silent force of strength I hope.

    Linnea (NY)

  2. I am 2 1/2 yr stage 4nsclc alk gene survivor- no progression (alectinib).
    Am considering Lorlatinib after progression, of course will do gene testing.
    I think my cancer is slow growing like yours. I live in Ohio and had Alice Shaw as 2nd opinion. You had mentioned “pulsing” And that in hindsight as being something you wished you had done. I have so many questions. Could we email. My daughter just moved to Boston – perfusionist at Boston Children’s.

  3. Linnea, you are the strongest person I know and focusing on that hells me. What we’re collectively experiencing is unprecedented in my life but I know you fight everyday. That helps me too. 👈🏼✊🏼❤️

  4. I think about you often… hoping and believing .. Reading your blogs… The feelings behind the words, the thoughts you share. A lot of strength, Sometimes laughter, sometimes tears. A lot of realism. I just want to say “thank you”.

  5. Do you really want to do that?

  6. It IS going to be a long haul. Your words and your willingness to show emotional vulnerability give me strength. Thank you.

  7. I’m with you, the time in quiet solitude has lead me further within and I see those dusty dark corners that need a good cleaning. It is a tough time, but I also feel like there is an opportunity to do just the work you are talking about!

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