Tag Archives: talking about cancer

Profanity and profundity

At the age of ten I possessed a diary; red, covered in naugahyde, and secured by a lock and key. Its primary function was as a repository for each notable expansion of my vocabulary. Wonderful words like twat, that curled my tongue and piqued my imagination.

My classmates were one reliable resource, but I also scoured books that I pulled from my parent’s shelves. A quick study, I became incredibly adept at skimming until I got to the juicy parts.

Although I understood the need to be discreet per my prurient interest, it never occurred to me to be ashamed. I was curious, and frankly fascinated by not only what was being described, but the words themselves. There are so very many forms of human expression.

I also grew up in a strict and fairly repressive household, those books on the shelves notwithstanding. It would take a good long time before I became comfortable enough to simply be myself. Rather a bit of a randy (turning an adjective into a noun for my own purposes).

Or, as I was described (to my delight) by some young women: ‘dirty but elegant.’ A sentiment recently echoed by my friend Kate B: ‘so regal but can still tell a person to fuck off.’

My self description would be dignified but profane.

Megan Rapinoe just publicly apologized for using the word fucking. ‘“I stand by the comments that I made about not wanting to go to the White House, with exception of the expletive,” she said. “My mom would be very upset about that.’

Now I hear her. My mother would be upset if she heard me speak. However (and I am not representing a franchise like Megan is and my mother is deceased), I do not feel the apology was warranted.

I just made a presentation to GE where I used the word fucked three times. It is possible that some in the audience felt offended, but fucked belongs in my narrative. It describes actual words I used (communicating to my oncologist) and at the time seemed like the most expedient, honest and (yes) elegant way to describe how I was feeling.

What we refer to as ‘swear’ words are valid and time proven forms of verbal expression. And, to be honest, I don’t really understand how people can find them offensive.

Cancer offends me. And if a dirty word helps me get that point across, well then I will damn well utilize it.

xo