Tag Archives: dating and cancer

Dating while dying

I said I was done. But the fact that I have paid memberships for several more months (passwords and subscriptions are the bane of my existence, as I can’t recall the former and do not remember to cancel the latter), I’m still in. For what it’s worth. Which, quite frankly, is not a whole hell of a lot these days.

Once upon a time (summer before last) I was meeting new people all the time. I kid you not. One banner week I went on six dates with five different people.

Now I have neither the energy nor the opportunity. Blame cancer and COVID. But I also have plenty of time in which to update my profile. What I don’t get to boast? That I am wicked healthy. Or rich and famous. But I do get to say all this. Which I just did. And now shall share (for your entertainment): PS: Only the serious need apply.

Smart and pretty; looking for same. 

Wildly adventurous although currently in observance of some serious pandemic tamping down. Just you wait. 

I have a big laugh and I like to use it. 

My two most commented upon qualities? Strong and brave.

Yet how I would describe myself? Funny. And fun. 

Artist, writer, activist, mother to three, friend to many.

I advise biotech and pharma companies and am a frequent presenter (pre pandemic) for Harvard Medical School’s Executive Education program.

Recently nominated for a fancy schmancy social club, my initial response was ‘but they will smell the Salvation Army on me.’ I said yes anyway and when the Club opens in the spring, you can join me for a drink.

In my spare time, I am working on a book. And an opera. Stay tuned.

On my wish list? Birthdays, more birthdays. Travel—I want to see as much of this world as I am able. Time with my adult children, a diverse and creative trio. Last year I shipped my aging airstream trailer to Ohio, where my oldest son lives. He is refurbishing it and the goal is to take his mother to Burning Man. Nothing pleases me more than when one of my kids wants to hang with me. 

And you? Open to infinite possibilities. Possessed of fine taste but not bias. Insatiably curious. Kind. Undaunted.

Ready. Willing. And able.

This is life

It occurred to me some months ago that one of the you can’t win for losing aspects of cancer is the accompanying stress. A diagnosis, progression—just living with this shit—it’s all incredibly anxiety making. And you know what? That is to the cancer’s advantage, but not to ours.

I am certain stress has such a deleterious impact on our immune system that it exacerbates malignancy. Yup. Cancer really has the upper hand as it not only fucks with our cells, it fucks with our heads as well.

That is, if we let it.

Cancer may kill my body but it will never get my spirit. I have decided, yes, decided, that I’m just not going to let my progression get me down.

Crazy maybe, but so far, so good.

To wit. The week before I travelled to Italy (trip of a lifetime!) I went on six dates. That’s right–seven days, six dates, five different people. And I found a place to live.

The three weeks in Italy? Could not have had more fun. Ate a ton of pasta, drank way too much wine, and had gelato at every opportunity. Walked a minimum of six miles each day and actually lost weight. Also wrote and submitted an abstract as I am heading to Barcelona in the fall as faculty at the next IASLC annual meeting.

I hit the ground running upon my return, as I have begun to pack for the upcoming move. I’ve already been on two dates (one the night after I returned) with two more before the week ends. On Friday I will be presenting at Harvard Medical School and on Monday I fly to NYC to speak at GE.

My cough reminds me of what is going on in my chest but determination is keeping me from dwelling on it. The goal is to stay strong enough to live with my cancer until the next effective therapy comes around.

And in the meantime? I am living large. Over the top, unrealistic, and totally blissed out. Not a bad way to go. Wherever it is that I am heading 🙂