This has been a year of reckoning.
Minus the diversions of either travel or the company of others, I’ve been left to my own devices. On the one hand, I’ve gotten back to being a practicing artist. This is a source of both pride and pleasure, as my relationship with art has not always been an easy one. For reasons I will never quite understand (but which are now moot), it has often been necessary to drag my ass to the easel. Now–at last–I can honestly say that I look forward to painting.
I have been diligent about writing as well, although I will not be content until I am at work on not just my blog but a manuscript. Plans–big plans!
However, there are other things I have frankly let go to seed. I am out of shape, eating like shit, and have been far too licentious with the alcohol.
Last night I awakened a little after midnight and had a little chat with myself. About ownership, and control–self control. A conversation that was deeply personal with fingers pointed firmly at self. But it wasn’t at all uncomfortable as it was entirely candid and came from a place of love and caring.
Fortunately I drank the rest of the vodka yesterday (always planning ahead). I will not buy more. I love the taste of alcohol and the feeling of being buzzed. But I love it a little too much.
So, no more drinking solo. Which means, for the most part, no more drinking–since I’m almost always alone now. And as one good lifestyle change leads naturally to another (and another), I shall be placing an emphasis once again on eating well and exercise.
This should be an interesting challenge–as I shall be accountable only to myself. That’s a lot of pressure, actually. But I also know that I own this.
Me, myself and a healthier I.