Role reversal

Just another evening in paradise. Baking a cake, because tomorrow is my daughter Jemesii’s thirty sixth birthday.

Also memorizing my lines (Evalynn Linnea Olson, 11/26/1959) for my debut in yet another trial. Crack o dawn and I’ll be on the road to Boston and my lead in dose.

I’m preparing mentally for the rigors of this new role. A host of side effects with the most common being:

increase in cholesterol and triglycerides which can increase your chance of heart disease and stroke

damage to nerves in arms, legs, feet or hands causing tingling or numbness

slowing of speech

vision changes

fatigue

rash, acne, or skin irritation including redness, raised bumps, dryness or itching

swell or fluid retention in the abdomen, arms, legs, hands, feet, face, or eyes

muscles spasms, muscle pain, or inflammation

nausea

diarrhea

Some of this is old news to me, as I spent more than five years on lorlatinib. The zits are something I’ve not experienced since my brief tenure on tarceva in 2008. I am relieved that my hair is growing back. Better not to be bald and broken out. Whoopee!–In a deal with the devil sort of way. Signing on for whatever may come because I love life so fucking much.

There is no poetic justice here. Just a strong stomach for discomfort and an even stronger will to live.

Bring it.