Relax

If you are a woman, there’s a very good chance that you, at one time or another, have been lying on a table in a paper johnny with legs akimbo and your feet in stirrups as a gynecologist gets ready to put their fingers in your poontang while also murmuring, ‘Just relax.’

Um, yeah, right.

Those with male genitalia cannot even begin to relate until the snap of the latex glove with that first prostate exam, generally around age 50.

But women, we get started young.

It is useful, in the sense that one becomes adept at separating body from mind. It is also ludicrous, but not exactly clear who the joke is on.

Kind of like now. A didn’t see this coming compendium of all of the above.

In addition to the ongoing pandemic, it’s been hot. Fucking hot. A concerned friend insisted on buying an air conditioner for me. Said appliance was delivered last Saturday and my friend Jim was going to help me install it.

However, the goddess who watches Kumo while I am being infused had been running a low grade fever. Out of a sense of responsibility she contacted me and also scheduled a COVID-19 test for Tuesday. I told Jim not to come.

I was supposed to go on a date that evening (social distancing observed) but out of my own utmost of caution, I cancelled. Don’t want to be spreading that shit around.

Well, my friend the goddess got tested and then found out yesterday that they had spilled her sample in transit. So she was retested. In the meantime, my clock is still running. It shall be interesting to see if the COVID results are returned before my self-imposed-extra-super-cautious two week quarantine ends.

In the meantime, it’s still bloody hot, though thankfully, not as hot as yesterday. And I do have an air conditioner. In a box 🙂

But me? I’m just chilling. You know, relaxing. When the world hands you a dumpster fire, toast marshmallows.

7 responses to “Relax

  1. Linnea,
    I do separate my mind from my body alot of the times in this cancer trip. Monday, I go for my 3rd lung biopsy in this 4 year lung cancer trip and my mind and body will separate. I do believe in feeling things that are happening to me fully, like I am alive, my body is still fighting this cancer and my mind, well, it’s trying to keep up.
    Hope you get relief from the heat. And as always your posts always strike something in me, to want to live, not to give up and try to understand life is what it is. It can be good even if most of our live is medical apptslinda. Usually my relief is a few days free of medical appts.
    Looking up to you,
    Linda

  2. …with at least one Aperol Spritz. Stay as cool you can, and delivery is always available 😇❤️

  3. ….with at least one Aperol Spritz? Stay as cool as you can, and remember delivery is always available😇❤️

  4. Hi Linnea, I’m always glad to see your blog posts, and especially since things have seemed to get a bit less desperate for you over the past few months. And also, kudos to you for working “poontang” into your story. My inner 16-year-old Ted Nugent fan is loving it. Jeff

    ________________________________

  5. Ha, 114 in AZ today.

  6. I usually hum when I’m nervous, but for some reason when I’m at THAT doctor, there is no humming. THAT doctor wants to hold a convo the whole time they’re in my wahoo…I don’t like it. I am not a fan of convo with my hairdresser either, I don’t know why. Anyway, I do hope you have some relief from the steamy air soon!

  7. Poontang…..🤣😅😂🤣

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