I realized a few days ago that for the bulk of my life, I have lacked solid goals, either going along with what someone else wanted or making do with the cards I was dealt.
As choice has often not been part of the equation, this has been a reasonable response. However, a week ago I suddenly had a vision of what I want.
Land. A piece of land—maybe up north in Maine. Enough acreage so that I could give each of my three children a parcel. Sort of a mini farm. With goats and chickens. Well water, gardens, a clothesline. A studio that we all could share. Our own little compound.
I texted the kids with an outline of my fantasy and gratefully, they each wrote back immediately to say that they loved it.
Of course this is a wild assed plan, given my current financial state.
However, that could change. If my health holds, I intend to get into the regular practice of art again. And I will write my book.
Whether or not any of this comes true I already feel a stir of excitement. It’s as if I have finally located my true north.
A purpose that is strictly personal.
What pleasure.
xo
life and breath: outliving lung cancer 
Sounds great! Always wanted a compound with my kids!
Sounds wonderful! Do it and then look back
at your accomplishment!
Cheryl
Delighted to hear this wonderful plan, Linnea! Looking forward to seeing it bloom.
Judy
So happy to hear you have found a dream and goal and that your kids want to share it with you!
Linnea – as an ever aspiring and sometimes published writer myself, and as a wriitng teacher, I’ve read and heard a thousand stories and know how often people naively think that a book can make money. Most stories have been heard too often before, and even the loveliest, when they are published, don’t make money. But your bold, personal, and flawless writing and your bittersweet stories of family and love, artistry and dogs, poverty and emotional wealth, — all that woven into the tapestry of a magnificent human and medical story of courage, patience, grief, hope, caring doctors, uncaring insurance companies, the importance of clinical trials and their generous participants and of online community and support, and more more more — babe you’ve WRITTEN the book. Put it out there. It will change the lives of patients and doctors and caring people the world over. You will make enough money for that land. (And if you want loving encouragement and some editorial help, that I can offer….. it’s what I do…. honest). I’m not sure I have EVER felt this way about someone else’s book-in-gestation. Go for it.
I second everything LIz says. That is what I meant to write in my comment. 😉
What a fabulous plan, Linnea! And please, please write that book. You will have many fans ready to read it.
I hope there’ll be a place for my “Studio Tent”…✊🏽❤️