It’s Tuesday. Although my mucositis is much improved I still have sores in my mouth and esophagus–almost five weeks after my last infusion.
I am scheduled for my fifth infusion on Thursday. However Dr. Lin called me this morning and it pushing it back another week–fortunately the trial allows for up to a four week delay.
Do I go for one more? Maybe even two? Wait until my next scan to decide?
Damn this is difficult.
My mood is so very improved and I suspect there is a direct relationship between positivity/motivation and feeling better. I am decidedly anxious that if I get another infusion, it will not only be my mouth that starts hurting again.
So I don’t know. My higher morale has also been correlative with a greater desire to survive. And the difficulty with clinical trials as they currently exist is that as a participant I am given very little latitude. Should I drop out there is no returning.
Chances are I’m going with infusion, simply because it places me in a position of greater options. But psychologically, this is a tough one.
I’m so very relieved that I have another week to think and hopefully heal.