Belief that I shall rise again from this diminished state. The hard core reality of pushing through with chemo even though there is no assurance that it’s poisoning not just me but my cancer. Hanging my hope on the premise that perhaps this potent brew is slowing down the pace of metastasis.
This is hard. I can march through hell if I know there is something good on the other side but this, well this is just marching through hell. Blindly.
But….I push through. One day at a time. I will make it to this next clinical trial and maybe, just maybe, it will turn this runaway train around. I have to believe it is so.