Belief that I shall rise again from this diminished state. The hard core reality of pushing through with chemo even though there is no assurance that it’s poisoning not just me but my cancer. Hanging my hope on the premise that perhaps this potent brew is slowing down the pace of metastasis.

This is hard. I can march through hell if I know there is something good on the other side but this, well this is just marching through hell. Blindly.

But….I push through. One day at a time. I will make it to this next clinical trial and maybe, just maybe, it will turn this runaway train around. I have to believe it is so.


12 responses to “Faith

  1. Valerie Goldstein

    Stay strong!

  2. Not really a believer, but am praying for you.
    You’re my role model. Going into my tenth year with multi/ focal adenocarcinoma.
    I’ve had surgery, radiation, chemo.
    I’m not as emotionally strong as you, but after reading your blogs, l become Superwoman, if only for a little while.
    I am confident that you will own the next clinical trial.

  3. I do not see this trek through Hell of yours as Blind. You have a focus and a plan, you need to make art, eat drink, play and travel, care for and be involved with your Kids. A clear vision to take you through that Hell!! Never forget the endless support of all of US too. ✊🏼❤️

  4. Judy Kasey Houlette

    Sending my love and support, always.

  5. “ ‘Cause I gotta have faith
    I gotta’ have faith
    Because I gotta have faith, faith, faith
    I got to have faith, faith, faith“

    Not meaning to be frivolous – But these words from a George Michael song came to mind when reading your post Linnea

    We all need faith to get what we need


  6. Yes, “One day at a time”!

  7. 💖💖

  8. 🤞
    (that’s a crossed-fingers emoji)

    Best hopes,

    Craig in PA

  9. Dear Linnea ~ When I was first diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer almost 5 years ago, I was originally given a prognosis of 15 to 18 months. That was before it was discovered that I have the ALK gene and we could treat my cancer with Crizotinib (and more recently with Alectinib). I was commiserating back then with my best friend that less than 5 percent of people with stage 4 lung cancer made it to survival for 5 years. She said to me, matter-of-factly, “You will be one of them.” That statement of faith impacted me in such a positive way, I have clung to it. I can still remember the commanding tone of her voice and what I was looking at when she spoke those words. So, I pass them on to you. I believe, Linnea, that you will “rise again from this diminished state.” I will look at the same blue and white ginger jar here in my living room that I was looking at back then and think of you… I believe!

  10. Linnea,

    It will be like all the other trials you went through.


  11. Linnea, thank you for sharing your journey. Congratulations on the Wall of Hope! Sending you peace and strength.💪

  12. Power hugs to you, Linnea. 💝

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