It occurred to me some months ago that one of the you can’t win for losing aspects of cancer is the accompanying stress. A diagnosis, progression—just living with this shit—it’s all incredibly anxiety making. And you know what? That is to the cancer’s advantage, but not to ours.
I am certain stress has such a deleterious impact on our immune system that it exacerbates malignancy. Yup. Cancer really has the upper hand as it not only fucks with our cells, it fucks with our heads as well.
That is, if we let it.
Cancer may kill my body but it will never get my spirit. I have decided, yes, decided, that I’m just not going to let my progression get me down.
Crazy maybe, but so far, so good.
To wit. The week before I travelled to Italy (trip of a lifetime!) I went on six dates. That’s right–seven days, six dates, five different people. And I found a place to live.
The three weeks in Italy? Could not have had more fun. Ate a ton of pasta, drank way too much wine, and had gelato at every opportunity. Walked a minimum of six miles each day and actually lost weight. Also wrote and submitted an abstract as I am heading to Barcelona in the fall as faculty at the next IASLC annual meeting.
I hit the ground running upon my return, as I have begun to pack for the upcoming move. I’ve already been on two dates (one the night after I returned) with two more before the week ends. On Friday I will be presenting at Harvard Medical School and on Monday I fly to NYC to speak at GE.
My cough reminds me of what is going on in my chest but determination is keeping me from dwelling on it. The goal is to stay strong enough to live with my cancer until the next effective therapy comes around.
And in the meantime? I am living large. Over the top, unrealistic, and totally blissed out. Not a bad way to go. Wherever it is that I am heading 🙂
life and breath: outliving lung cancer 