Rock, reel and roll.

up down up

Getting knocked on my keister is a personal proclivity. Not by choice but rather situational in nature.

I just can’t seem to arrive at a place where life is smooth sailing. In fact, I think I ought to stop believing that I will. It’s disappointing. Reclining in a lounge chair on a beach somewhere with a cold drink in hand (garnished with some fruit and a paper umbrella please) is a go-to fantasy of mine. As in, I sure would rather be there rather than stretched out in a CT scanner, as I will be tomorrow morning.

In all honesty, getting scanned is not such a big deal. Been there, done that, will do it again. And again.

That is something I can count on. It’s the surprises that catch me off guard. Which is surprising, because those too are predictable. At the moment I’m dealing with a major inconvenience that has nothing to do with cancer. Although that isn’t quite accurate, as having cancer often complicates even seemingly simple situations. Plan a trip three months from now? Sure. Maybe.

When the shit hits the fan my emotions generally assume a fetal position. The old duck and crawl–right under the covers. However, the fact that I both live alone and own a dog keeps me honest. Six hours max and I must rise to the occasion.

Which is really very helpful. Sometimes you just have to go through the motions, with an emphasis on moving. Actionable. That’s a beautiful word, connoting possibilities. And although it is not probable, it is possible that both some sand and a long tall cold one are close at hand.

xo

9 responses to “Rock, reel and roll.

  1. Uncertainly – Unpredcictability – More fucking scans ? – Go through the fucking motions – there is a lot more ……….. xxx

  2. And good luck tomorrow xxx

    • Thank you. And about those fucking scans—I suppose it still beats the alternative. No more need for scans 😉

      xo Linnea

  3. I hope things settle down soon!

  4. Wow! Can I relate to that! I’ve been waiting for that smooth sailing also & it’s not coming my way & yes, much not cancer related. But I find the “interference” we get from people & things around us that causes us so much annoyance is always a good distraction, so I don’t focus on my cancer.
    “ Going through the motions” says it well! We finally sold our home after three years on the market. We have 60 days to leave & so overwhelmed. Almost 40 years of life to go through, donate & sell. Something I don’t want to spend time with because our time is so precious & limited. But this will in the end simplify my life & that’s the focus. The great news is that it’s going to the most beautiful family! Comfort in knowing they will have many happy times & memories there! ❤️

    • Jade, it is hard to see time sucked up by that which feels less than essential (in a bigger picture way). Hopefully there will be lots of happy memories for you as well as you go through things.

      xo Linnea

  5. Been following your blog for a year and
    then
    some.
    Your words make me FEEL when often
    I’m
    numb.
    So, thank you for that
    with all of my heart,
    a tip of my hat
    t’your expressive word art!
    Like you, I’m an ALK
    trying to sort this thing out
    So, no doubt
    it’s about
    time to give you
    a shout.
    I live up the coast
    In Boothbay Harbor
    with my wife, Beth, and dog
    and sometimes our daughter.
    Like you, I’m an artist.
    It’s paintings I make.
    Though, now is the hardest
    since the cancer earthquake.

    If you’re game for getting
    together with us,

    We’d love to have you up for a spell
    for drinks on the rocks (literally)
    with paper umbrellas.

    Perhaps when it’s warmer
    and gorgeous in Maine
    you’ll join us in friendship.
    What d’ya say?

    On FB you’ll find a friend request
    If you’d like to respond
    it might be best
    to use Messenger there
    I hope you do
    But, if not, that’s OK too.

    Greg

  6. Greg, I would be honored and delighted to join you and your family in Boothbay.

    xo Linnea

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