I went to bed early last night because I was feeling depressed. Sleeping is generally one of the least harmful activities one can engage in while under the influence of overbearing sadness.
Depression is a funny thing. Never a welcome guest, it arrives unannounced, moves on in like it owns the place, and then proceeds to do whatever the hell it wants, including but not limited to, absolutely trashing everything.
Oy. And never a clue as to when it might decide to pick up and leave.
Well, I woke up on the same side of the bed as usual this morning and yet…something was different. By the time I got home from walking Lily and Kumo I realized that I was in a good mood.
Yeah. That was more like it.
Suddenly everything that felt like an overwhelming burden/impossiblity yesterday now looked a whole heck of a lot more like an opportunity today.
I got on my laptop and started cruising not just the classifieds but also websites for grants and residencies for artists and writers both. And as I did, I started to feel a wind in my sail. I can do this I said, and unlike yesterday, I wasn’t talking myself into anything. Nope. This was true affirmation, the can-do that is my usual MO. I am an overcomer. It’s not for nothing that ‘Adversity Expert’ is one of my tag lines on my current curriculum vitae.
Nope. Challenges are something I eat for breakfast. So let’s get back on track. 😉
life and breath: outliving lung cancer 
Linnea, thank you for sharing this part of your journey. I was diagnosed just a year ago with EGFR Exon 20 insertion. I have read quite a bit of your blog…maybe back 5 years. I read it because you share the good times and the bad times. You are “real” about your journey. This helps me. Thank you.
Thank you Shelly. It helps me when people tell me I help them. And I wish you the best of luck on this journey.
xo Linnea
Why don’t you turn your blog into a book? A well written book about a cancer journey would get published by a major publisher.
Yes!!! I love this idea!!
Thank you Anne and Linda. I am working on it. I know it’s a long shot (because I’m going for that major publisher thing) but I’m going to give it a go.
xo Linnea
Hooray! I hope that I can rise above this hot mess, like you have! Cheers!
Nancy, sometimes we rise, sometimes we sink. You just have to make sure you come up for air.
xo Linnea
You go girl. A new day, a new perspective.
Gotta love ’em, those new days.
xo Linnea
So happy you feel empowered today Linnea. You lit your own spark!!!👀
Thank you Linda. Took me awhile to find that match but yes, I did!
xo Linnea
“Challenges are something I eat for breakfast.” YAAASSS QUEEN! Straighten your damn crown and march forward! LOVE.
Love you. Crown straight and onward indeed.
xo Linnea
ps: you’d be proud of me–I joined a gym. Loving it 🙂
Linnea you really have no idea how much your blog helps people. Your future financial security must lie in a book. You are a fabulous writer. A terrific inspiration to many, including but not limited to, people with ALK+, people living with depression and people with financial worries. Thank you. You are a one off. You’re a star.
Ah gee Julie, you made my month. Thank you. I am hoping that book becomes a reality.
xo Linnea
Well you know what I think. Your art is gorgeous. I want to buy some please. Seriously. Your writing is beautiful and clear and funny and you have a hell of a story to tell. You are brave and indomitable you even beat the insurerers at their game. I understand depression all too well. It may make the journey a lot harder and sometimes slower, but if you were to contact agents right now with a book proposal (Still Here or some such title) your large, diverse, and loving fandom will cheer you on and I’m betting you’ll get a bite. If you need a second pair of eyes from another experienced editor or writer, we’re out there too. We will love what you write. We already do. One page at a time and all will be well! Xxxx
Liz, this is the sort of real encouragement I crave. Thank you.
Now to brush and pen (well, keyboard).
xo Linnea
You go girl! I am in awe of you too, truly.
Thank you Linnea ❤
Linnea
Thank u linda