Last night I drank half a bottle of wine and ate half a pint of ice cream for dinner. Had you been here, I would have offered you the other half(s). My sugar and grapes meal was a celebration, as yesterday I learned that my scans are still stable.
This felt like a big deal because the previous scan of my lungs had been flagged for possible progression. That was three months ago and I didn’t get anxious until the day before yesterday, when that old familiar feeling of dread hit me like a ton of bricks.
Back in the day I might have bounced this anxiety off of my spouse, but I am now more than four years into traveling solo. Although I am one tough mother, (and have a t-shirt that says as much) some days just being strong doesn’t quite cut it. Fortunately I have learned how to ask for help when needed and I put a plaintive plea for a group hug out on Facebook. And the love just started pouring in.
My friends–I’m not sure I could do this without you. The community that we have built online keeps me tethered and buoyed both. So say what you will about the evils of social media–it is a source of enormous support for this single lady.
As is my amazing oncologist, Dr. Shaw. Per that radiology report–she never trusts the read, but rather studies the scans herself with a magnifying glass. I simply could not be in better hands.
And for those keeping track, I’m coming up fast on a couple of important milestones. In April I mark thirteen (!) years since diagnosis. My youngest, who was only seven when I learned I had lung cancer, is going to be twenty-one on April 20. That I should live thirteen years post diagnosis–long enough to see all three of my children into adulthood is, well, mind blowing.
As is the fact that I’ve had the opportunity to build a new life for myself. This extended period of stability has allowed me to focus on something aside from cancer, and I have thrown myself into travel, art, my vintage clothing business and online dating. I also took a rather extended break from blogging, but am gearing up to start sharing all (well, not all 😉 ) the juicy details. Stay tuned.