I had my CT scan and appointment with Dr. Shaw yesterday. As anticipated, the news is not particularly good. The radiology report reads: ‘A mixed attenuation lesion in the left lower lung zone now measures 8.4 cm, previously 6.9 cm. There are also increased small ground glass nodules adjacent to the lesion. The central solid portion of the lesion now measures 6.2 cm, previously 4.4 cm. A mixed attenuation lesion in the anterior right upper lobe now measures 1.4 cm, previously 1.4 cm. Another right upper lobe lesion now measures 7 mm, previously 4 mm. Inferior right upper lobe mixed attenuation nodule measures 1.5 cm, previously 1.2 cm—Interval increase in size of dominant mixed attenuation lesion in the left lower lung zone and some of the right upper lobe nodules consistent with worsening lung cancer.‘
Still, were I not symptomatic, Dr. Shaw would consider leaving me on Xalkori for a little longer. However, upon examination she noted how very wheezy I am and we both agreed that it is time to try something else.
Two weeks ago I realized (with no small degree of horror) that I had gotten mixed up on my medication and had been taking my Xalkori only once a day. At most I made this mistake for two or possibly three weeks but I was absolutely mortified when I reported my discovery to Alice (Dr. Shaw). Hopefully it had no major impact upon my response, as my symptoms had never abated. However, it is a potent reminder that I have been terribly distracted. As Alice remarked, I have a lot on my plate.
I am to start the new trial on the 13th of May. We have a scheduled mediation for our impending divorce on the 16th and my first impulse was to push back the trial date. Last night I did a lot of soul searching and realized that I need to get my priorities straight (the mediation can wait if necessary).
In addition to my own worries, Pete is experiencing some challenges (kid can’t get up in the morning) and I’ve been back and forth to Exeter a number of times. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and I am setting my alarm for 7:20 every morning so that I can place a rise and shine call to my sleepy son. Yesterday I had to call repeatedly; today he picked up on the fourth ring.
I confess to feeling somewhat overwhelmed. However, my internal dialogue moves quickly from wallow to wonder; I am still here.
Live, love, life.
life and breath: outliving lung cancer 
You are remarkable, Linnea…so full of strength and good, positive and optimistic thoughts….. and I wish you all the very very best and send you a bussi from Vienna, Austria…the home of the big fat chocolate cakes.
wow, Linnea, you have some much to deal with – all important too.
I’m sure it was hard to see your scan results, but I remember seeing “before and after” scans when you first went on Crizotinib – miraculous changes! So I’m optimistic you will see the same with this next clinical trial drug.
Sending hugs: et me know when I can give you a hug in person.
ooLaurie
I look forward to your blogs. I so admire the way you can put your feelings into such beautiful wording. I have an Masters Degree, but can’t write that well (as in putting my feelings into words). I am a 4 year survivor of bilateral synchrous lung tumors (never smoked). I had surgery, chemo(tarceva), radiation. Last scan showed GGO’s becoming more prominent. I go to MDAnderson in Houston for my treatments. I just wanted to let you know how much I admire you. I am a pessimist by nature, and have almost let this cancer take over my life. I sincerely hope this new trial will work for you and you will have many more years.I am a seventy year old female and have lived to see my children become adults and have enjoyed five grandchildren for the last ten years. I realize that I have so much to be thankful for, but I suppose we always want more time on this planet. lol.
My youngest daughter had the same problem waking up. It’s better but still an issue. She sets a zillion alarms, etc. She’s 24! Getting up for a job seemed to be the best motivator. School definitely didn’t do it.
Good luck – you’re amazing. I start my AZD9291 next week. Nervous but optimistic. We’re warriors and will prevail!
Hugs,
Jo
you are my hero.
Irma
Hang in there ! Sending you positive energy to have the strength to get through this . There is Hope. I wish you great success with the next clinical trial med. Remember you are strong & loved. ~ you can do this !
~Maureen
Keeping you in my thoughts, Linnea. You have most definitely touched me with your strength, zest for life, and all you continue to do and give. How lucky we all are to have you as a role model!
Thanks for the update. Hoping your next treatment will be success. Your are strong and can managed this well. Do not over load yourself and do the best you can each day.
Joan
Sending love and hugs to you…
this post brought tears to my eyes. Because cancer is so unfair, and because you have so much to deal with outside of cancer that is challenging in and of itself. You have responded well to other treatments in the past and I am sticking with my thought that the next one will work well for you Linnea. Please please put your health first and foremost in regards to the mediation right now. As you said, it will wait. My heart is with you and your children as you prepare for the new treatment. love you my friend
Love reading your blog Linnea. Love and healing and here’s to setting the priorities and clearing a few things off the plate. Love you, Jill
Wallow to wonder. Wish I had written that!
Love love
J
A wake up call to Pete at 7:15 in the morning, I’d love a turn! As always, you are in my thoughts, love ya
I was diagnosed in Jan 2013 with andenocarcinoma stage IV NSCLC and for the most part, I remain optimistic. Your journey is inspiring and reminds me to focus on the wonderful things in my life, not the challenges. I remain “a person, with lung cancer”, not “a lung cancer patient”. All the best to you as you deal with your current challenge and then back to your life!
Always thinking of you. Stay strong.
I can feel how you feel. I am in a similar situation. I will send you all my prayers and love. email me if you need to talk. I am here. Patrizia