Sending some love to our bodies

photo by Sadie Dayton

photo by Sadie Dayton

When first diagnosed with cancer, I felt as if my body had not only let me down, but actually turned on me. Some of my own DNA had gone rogue, grabbed some prime real estate in my lungs, and set up headquarters. Even when forcibly evicted, the rebel cells kept returning. Their numbers grew, and soon recruits were colonizing new neighborhoods.

Attempting to slow the spread of cancer has required unyielding vigilance. Emotionally and spiritually, I believe this has resulted in an unforeseen benefit; a chance for personal growth.

Physically, it has taken quite a toll. My body has been a battleground and I am scarred inside and out. This could potentially be distressing, as we live in a beauty and youth oriented society where great measures are taken to avoid the imperfections associated with aging and disease.

I am not afraid of getting old. I hope to hell I do. And I made peace with myself some time ago. Not only is all forgiven (the whole cancer thing), I have an abiding affection for this body of mine. We’ve been through a lot together, and somehow, some way, we both just keep on going.

Must be love.

19 responses to “Sending some love to our bodies

  1. You are a beautiful person, Linnea, both inside and out!!!!!!!! Never forget that!

  2. Thank-you Linnea
    Beautifully written!!

  3. Angela Branz-Spall

    As always, you write what we survivors are all thinking, but can not put in such a beautiful, articulate way. You are indeed beautiful , in mind, body and spirit! Live On! Angela

  4. Dear Linnea, What a wonderful piece of writing. So great to hear such eloquence about the mind vs body fight that all in such life threatening situations face … Modern society’s fixation with superficial exterior-only beauty is a pile of utter cr*p. Your strong and uplifting words put a lot in context. Here’s to wrinkles, imperfections and love through to whenever our earthly bodies give us, David x

    • David, good to hear from you my friend. And it is an utter pile of crap. Beauty is all around us and inside us all as well; in other words, a state of being, not mere surfaces: a deep thing. And very much in the eyes of the beholder; like love. (I, for instance, am made weak in the knees by one wandering eye, gapped teeth and faces that have a perfect profile but are not so symmetrical from the front).

      To true, individual beauty and love, wrinkles, warts (maybe not warts) et al.


  5. cheryl shields

    Once again, you have captured the words and feelings that we all hope to have and written them in a beautiful, articulate, prose like communication.
    Bless you.

  6. what a beautiful, inspirational post and picture..
    we all need to be reminded of our beauty
    thanks, Linnea…
    I have forwarded this post on to many of my friends..

    • Laurie, so good to have seen you the other day and thank you for your kind words and also for passing the post around. We are all beautiful, as is every breath we are priveleged to take.


  7. I felt the same way when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It seemed my body had let me down. I haven’t yet reached the point you have of making peace with it all. But I’m working on it. Thanks for a thoughtful post.

    • Nancy, it takes time, forgiving your body and learning to trust it again. Not only was I angry, I ended up losing all confidence. It was quite a process getting back to a strong place again, and you have to gentle yourself along the way.

      Best, Linnea

  8. Wow, Linnea, This is one powerful post. Thank you.

    Cristina xoxo

  9. love the picture and the writing

  10. the title of your post reminded me of this teaching by stephen levine:

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