Tag Archives: Camp Kesem

Thoughts of summer: Camp Kesem

Last August our son Peter attended camp for the very first time. He experienced many of the time honored rituals of a traditional summer camp: swimming, canoeing, backpacking, songs and stories around the campfire, and (for a more modern twist) a ropes course. The campers ranged in age from 6 to 16, but they all had something in common; a parent who’d been diagnosed with cancer.

The idea for Camp Kesem was developed in 2000 by four students from Stanford University who wanted to do something positive for children with cancer. They soon realized that although there were several organizations that addressed the needs of children fighting the disease themselves, an important group of children had been overlooked; those whose lives had been impacted by a parent’s diagnosis of cancer. And so Camp Kesem (Kesem means magic in Hebrew) was created, and two missions were defined:

“To provide children whose parent has or had cancer with a free summer camp experience that gives them a chance to be kids.”

“To allow college students to channel their passion for making a difference while developing critical leadership skills for long-term social impact.”

Word of the well received first camp in 2001 spread quickly, demand among campers grew, and students at other universities became interested in starting their own chapters. In 2011, Camp Kesem was nominated and chosen as a recipient of LIVESTRONG’s Community Impact Project. The monies from this award provided support for additional staffing and seed money for 12 new campuses. In 2012, 14 new campus chapters have been added for a total of 37 camps in 22 states. For a complete list of regional Camp Kesems as well as information regarding applications, click here.

Peter was seven when I was diagnosed with lung cancer, and fourteen when he attended  MIT Camp Kesem last summer. While at camp Peter received, for the first time, validation from his peers that when a parent has cancer, your own life is turned upside down as well. I asked Peter to put into his own words the Camp Kesem experience:

“Part of what makes Camp Kesem so amazing is how relaxed the atmosphere stays. We all know why we are here, and the unspoken sadness that is always there lingers, but we don’t have to talk about it. We can, but we do not have to. It is kinda just beneath the surface. Now, that sounds pretty grim, but we are so distracted and having so much fun, that all that is left is the knowledge that we all share this same little thought. Even if we aren’t necessarily talking about it, we all can and do. This means that the feeling of togetherness is magnified, until it seems like we have everything in common. We are all together, and we are all okay.”

The reach of Camp Kesem is limited only by funding. Most campers return the next summer, and the college age counselors work hard to establish and maintain relationships with individual campers that are not limited to the week of camp. I couldn’t be more impressed by this organization and have joined the National Parent Committee. Our goal is to spread the word and help make this opportunity available to even more children. So that they, like Peter, can know the solidarity that comes with sharing a common hurt:

“We are all together, and we are all okay.” 

The calm before the storm

It has just begun to rain here. Irene is moving up the coast, and we are anticipating strong winds and lots of moisture for a rather sustained period.

Yesterday we were in Boston, picking up Pete after camp. It couldn’t have been a more gorgeous day.

It wasn’t just the weather that was perfect:  greeting all the kids and counselors as they returned from their week at Camp Kesem was one of the best experiences ever. Pete straggled in with his pillow and a big grin. “It was amazing,” he said. “Just amazing”.

Campers ranged in age from six to eighteen and Pete’s group was teens fourteen and up. An almost equal number of counselors, all MIT students, accompanied the group as they swam, hiked, camped out, canoed, played games, and participated in a ropes course. In the evening they hung out together and talked. All of the campers had a parent fighting cancer and in some cases the parent had died; Peter said the conversations were at times incredibly sad but also very moving.

What I witnessed on the day of pick-up, was a staggering amount of joy, love, support and energy. Pete was emotional as he hugged his new friends, both campers and counselors, goodbye. I had so hoped this would be a wonderful experience, and in fact it exceeded all expectation.

Grabbing a snack afterward

And so, from the Duff family, a big, big shout out to Camp Kesem (click here for more information about camps in your area and/or to donate to this very worthy cause). As for all the counselors (who volunteer their time and fundraise as well); you are beyond amazing. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you.

MIT

Saturday was a day of extreme ups and downs. The bad/sad news about my friend Guillermo. A disturbing dream the night before; in which I had been attempting to climb to higher ground as a giant wave washed in, only to have it sweep me out to sea. I survived the tsunami, but as I back-stroked toward shore, what I feared to be sharks would bump against my legs and I wondered what it would feel like when they struck.

We were also scurrying to get out the door to Boston, where we would be attending an information session in regard to a camp Peter will be attending, and then dropping David off at Logan for a flight to England. We’ve yet to sort everything out from our move, and initially David couldn’t find his stash of business cards. As we got in the car, I asked him to check for his passport; he did, only to discover that it was an older document that had now expired.

Well, after momentary panic and a quick search of the house, the current passport was found tucked in another compartment in David’s briefcase.

Three deep breaths and an hour and a half later, we were at MIT; The Massachusetts Institute for Technology.

What a place. Sort of hallowed ground for those in love with sciences…Peter was indeed in heaven. I got a kick out of all of the bright young minds roving the halls; it made me feel smarter (kind of like osmosis) just being proximal to all that brilliance.

The reason for our visit was orientation for Camp Kesem, a wonderful opportunity for children who have a parent with cancer. Should you follow the link, you will see that it is geared for children ages 6-13. In reality, they accept teens up to age 18 and I’m not sure why that is misstated on their website; upon initially checking them out (after being alerted to their existence by my friend Diane), I assumed Pete would not be eligible, as he is 14. Further investigation at a later date corrected my assumption, but our application was turned in just before closing and Pete was wait-listed. Happily, two weeks ago we found out a spot had opened for him.

The counselors are all MIT students who donate their time to this cause, and their enthusiasm was contagious. It was all I could do to not start weeping; it is such a glorious concept (there is no charge, therefore making it available to families regardless of income) and addresses the unmet needs of a group that is so often disregarded:  our children.

At the end of August, Peter will have a chance to interact with other young people dealing with a parent’s illness in an unstructured environment where the emphasis is on fun; a much needed respite from cancer.

Afterward we took a short walk along Massachusetts Avenue, before deciding on a cafe called Flour for dinner. It was sooo good, and a lovely way to top off a day that had begun so painfully.